i know your words are like sharp edges of a knife which would stab me but still... i can't take it anymore... cubbing to my knees.. not wanting to hear the truth... just running away from the door of truth... i need to face it... i may be sad about it.. but still i need to know!
how long do i intend to run away?? and live in my dream?? i know you are kind and loving but please be frank with me... if you hate me please say so... but i just want you to know that i have loved you through out my life... in the past, present and future...
though i know that you're hiding something from me.. i just kept quiet as i know that you will tell me someday.. but after today.. i have found out.. you intend to hide it from me forever... what's the point of acting?? i'm tired of this..
you know.. i love those days.. when we laughed together... when i cry you'll comfort me... when i get angry you'll hear me till the very end... you listened to my every word... i was very happy.. but then... things are different know huh? i'm hurt... as i already know half of the truth.... it was preety shocking you know that...
i wanted to kill myself... but... i want to know the whole truth... well.. it makes sense now that i see it.. i know why you behave that way towards me now... it can't be helped right? but still.. i hope you will not forget me even if i were to disappear from your life...
thinking back.. i wonder what had i done to make you remember of me.. i have done nothing but cause you troubles haven't i? well... i would want you to recieve my apologies... just wait a few more years.. that's all i can ask for... then i'll disappear from your life... i'll never enter into your dream.. never... i promise...
for now i would like to thank you for what you have done for me these past years.. i'm grateful... though i really miss those days but being apart is best for us... i just don't fit in the picture with you.. but i want you to know that i'll never forget about you... your love will always be in my heart.. forever...
give me sometime for now to prepare myself... then i'll distance myself from you... so please bear for it for now... i'm begging you... thinking back.. after aeperating from you in the future... it'll be lonely.. kind of sad when i think of it.. it's ok i guess.. as you see ny then i'll be doing part-time job... i'll cool my head there.. ^^
you know now that i think of it... you don't know about my blogging... now it sounds hilarious... my post is like a message to you... but you won't be reading... it sounds very funny now that i think of it.. well.. it's ok... let's spend the remaining years without regrets as i'm sure that after i'm gone you'll be having a great time....
okie... enough of that.. trying to forget.. come on wini.. cheer up.. you can't be like this always!! be your usual self!! oh!! GANBARO!!! watashi no nari tai jibun te.. hehe.. so! so! hehe.. ^^
okie.. let's see.. today was the best day ever! hang out with the bakas.. hehe.. the baka gang.. had a great time... at first supposed to meet up bakaara and bakajia at bpp.. but thanks to bakajia had to push to 11.35am... but then was busy searching batteries then did not realize that time passed so fast.. lol..
i want to kill bakajia!!! she made me dirty my shirt!!! *sniff*sniff* hehe.. ^^ then met her at about 11.50 i think then went to bpp to meet bakaara... kyaa!! bakaara's clothes so cute!! especially the hairstyle!!! nyaa!! i love it!! i wonder why she does not want to tie like that to school.. scared that if the boys see you in that hairstyle then they would come after you and leave bakajia behind... then bakajia will cry... lol... can imagine.. haha.. *dreaming*dreaming* lol.. ok.. better stop.. or else someone get angry..
then went to library... look at some books then talked about the plan... in the end going to bugis was canceled.. haiz~ then went to lot 1 and meet up with bakaval... then had lunch in Mac.. lol.. wanted to say in Big Mac... = =" anyway.. after that we went this fashion and alano... bakaara bought clothes.. then hang out.. just walk in and out of stores.. so called window shopping..
then before we left bakaval bought a shirt which she liked and i bought apple pie for my brother... when i reached home.. he ignored me... told me to open the gate myself.. so evil~ then got a bit irritated with his attitude then gave.. or should i say put the apple pie on his table then went to my room
then he acted kindly towards me.. lol.. what the heck!? i thought.. he wabts me to give special treat everytimes is it... then he sweet talk a bit.. how was you paper... what did you buy and so on.. like he would care... he's just happy as he got an apple pie FOC! i tell you beware of my brother.. he will only accept it if you give him anything that is FOC.. so money consious..lol.. if he knows i typed this he'll kill me.. then we parted.. after came home then cleaned my room.. at 10pm supposed to chat with prince charming but due her meeting she can't come.. *sniff*sniff* so sad.. anyway going to chat with her tomorrow...
before i forgot.. there a change in the End of Year Drama Production(EYDP)..this is the confirmed details..
Date : 27th & 28th Nov
Time : (not sure yet)
Venue : Arts House
Ticket pricing : $10 or $15
Sales of tickets will begin around 27th Oct 2008!! Book fast before it is all gone!!
hehe.. can't wait... ^^ i'm so looking forward to it.. talking about that.. i have not started memorising my lines.. lol.. furthermore drama session will resume on tuesday.. OMG!! dead!! haiz~ so many things.. lol.. hehe ^^"
okie.. feeling sleepy.. want to sleep.. tomorrow got dance.. haiz~ don't feel like waking up early tomorrow.. okie.. better get going... good day everyone.. sweet dreams.. and all the best for receiving the EOY results.. i somehow have a bad feeling on the coming Tuesday(release of results).. giku...
~Tenjou no hoshi akaku someru...Kiseki no tsubu hiroi atsumete...Mada mienu yoru no saki ni...Tsutaetai yo maboroshi wo yaburi...Jounetsuteki na kotoba wa naku temo...Ima, koko ni iru koto sore ga boku no shinjitsu~
Phrase of the day:
Holding onto the little glimpse of hope. The thing that can’t be found is the last stand. Even then. Close your eyes, listen with your ears. While having that precious feeling… Seeking the person you’re looking for. A face without any expression becomes a mask. A warping sharp pain. And an unacceptable separation… --The Call of The Sea--
~Zettai happi ni naru kara ne!~
